"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." — Bertrand Russell
"I dare you to face a fear head on. You will thank yourself." — Me
It will never cease to amaze me. I'm not at my goal, but within grasp of my goal and my mind is starting its stupid negotiations: "You can have a INSERT HERE (beer, wine, cheese, eggs, cooked foods, corn on the cob..). Just a bite - it won't hurt anything."
Oooooo - that mind of mine! HOWEVER - it WILL hurt me a lot. It will be me falling into my pattern of falling short of a goal. This little record that likes to play in my brain is not going to win this time. I am dragging the needle over it and it won't play NO MO'. I have effectively "gone to the mattresses" (Godfather reference) with mediocre health and am on a new, uncharted journey for myself. I don't have any rules - other than GOOD HEALTH and WELLNESS - both physically and mentally. Change is hard. Change is difficult. But change is NOT impossible. What stops change mostly? FEAR.
Oooooo - that mind of mine! HOWEVER - it WILL hurt me a lot. It will be me falling into my pattern of falling short of a goal. This little record that likes to play in my brain is not going to win this time. I am dragging the needle over it and it won't play NO MO'. I have effectively "gone to the mattresses" (Godfather reference) with mediocre health and am on a new, uncharted journey for myself. I don't have any rules - other than GOOD HEALTH and WELLNESS - both physically and mentally. Change is hard. Change is difficult. But change is NOT impossible. What stops change mostly? FEAR.
So today's quote talks about fear. My biggest fear right now regarding all this is that I will backslide into my bad food choices and behaviors (which ultimately lead to bad food choices); that I won't continue with my CHANGE. That is what I must conquer - this fear of change for the better. I know I don't THINK I want to remain a raw, vegan for my entire life. I'm so social and do not have many vegan friends, let alone RAW vegan friends. My posse remains rooted in the SAD (standard American diet) diet. Therefore, I feel that when I have reached goal #2 of 138 lbs, I must find a balance in my life that allows me to embrace my need for indulgence (a beer or glass of wine, sushi, cheese, eggs, potatoes once and awhile) with my overwhelming need to be a strong, healthy, fit individual. So I'm using a previous quote to attack this one - I'm eating my elephant 1 bite at a time. I'm trying to not focus on what I'm not eating (my beloved corn on the cob is a struggle to pass up this season) and instead rejoice in the simplicity of my foods, my weight loss, my increasing muscular strength (pull-ups anyone? I did 2 in a row today!) and endurance, my ability to WEAR A SIZE 8 for the first first time in nearly 15 years - all of my accomplishments in the last 28 days.
OK - So how do I really start scratching out the record in my head? Well - let's start with the need to reward myself for all my hard work. I've decided to face a fear and not put off something that "I'm going to get around to doing...". I'm going on a road trip in September. It corresponds with the finalization of 2 months of this program. I'm going to a yoga retreat at http://www.kripalu.org/ in the Berkshires in Western Massachusetts. I have always wanted to do a yoga retreat and was always a little TOO AFRAID. I am excited for it this time. No beer. No wine. No cheese. No sushi. No eggs. No potatoes. YET. Instead - yoga baby. Yoga. I'm doing it FOR ME.
Getting back to "going to the mattresses" - I'm juicing again tomorrow!
Getting back to "going to the mattresses" - I'm juicing again tomorrow!
Here's the news for Day 28:
STATISTICS
Height - 5' 7-1/2"
Weight - For the record, I'm weighing in next to nude on the same scale, around the same time every morning before eating or drinking anything.
WEEK ONE - Wednesday, July 15 - Tuesday, July 21, 2009
DAY 01 - 173.4 lbs
DAY 02 - 167.3 lbs
DAY 03 - 165.0 lbs
DAY 04 - ? - I was away and couldn't weigh in
DAY 05 - ? - I was away and couldn't weigh in
DAY 06 - 162.8 lbs
DAY 03 - 165.0 lbs
DAY 04 - ? - I was away and couldn't weigh in
DAY 05 - ? - I was away and couldn't weigh in
DAY 06 - 162.8 lbs
DAY 07 - 161.6 lbs
WEEK TWO - Wednesday, July 22 - Tuesday, July 28, 2009
DAY 08 - 160.2 lbs
DAY 09 - 160.4 lbs
DAY 10 - 159.2 lbs
Day 11 - ? - I was away and couldn't weigh in
Day 12 - ? - I was away and couldn't weigh in
Day 13 - 159.4 lbs
Day 14 - 157.6 lbs
Day 14 - 157.6 lbs
WEEK THREE - Wednesday, July 29 - Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Day 15 - 157.0 lbs
Day 16 - 158.2 lbs
Day 16 - 158.2 lbs
Day 17 - 157.0 lbs
Day 18 - 157.1 lbs
Day 19 - I was away and couldn't weigh in
Day 20 - 155.0 lbs
Day 21 - 156.1 lbs
WEEK FOUR - Wednesday, August 5 - Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Day 22 - 156.2 lbs
Day 23 - 154.9 lbs
Day 24 - 153.3 lbs <-- 20 lbs in 24 days!
Day 24 - 153.3 lbs <-- 20 lbs in 24 days!
Day 25 - I was away and couldn't weigh in
Day 26 - I was away and couldn't weigh in
Day 27 - 153.9 lbs
Day 28 - 153.9 lbs <- Uh-oh. This is no time for a plateau!
FOOD
Breakfast
- 2 cups of coffee
- 1 banana
- handful of walnuts
Snack
- 6 prunes
Lunch
- 5 mushrooms stuffed with living seas carrot salad
- Leek mushroom dehydrated wrap stuffed with chopped broccoli, tomatoes and some kind of yummy orange paste (no clue).
- Salad: Romaine, yellow pepper, apple, scallions Dressing: sesame oil, rice wine vinegar
Snack
- 1 Orange
- 3 prunes
Supper
- Chop salad: lettuce, red cabbage, red pepper, scallions
- Dressing: rice vinegar and oil
- In-friggin-credible gazpacho: tomato, scallion, red pepper, zucchini, basil and TLC
Incredible dehydrated kale and zucchini slices (really fulfills the potato chip craving)- Stuffed pepper (dehydrated too)
EXERCISE
- Random pull-ups
- Power walk for 40 minutes
- Abs with Tamilee Webb
Beautiful food there! Wow!
ReplyDeleteHave you tried some guided imagery meditation? Doreen Virtue has some good ones out on the topic of food and nourishment.
I have found that the mind, with all of its wonder, is limited. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. If you can come from a place of being...a place where your highest self resides...love will lead you, and keep you on the right path. Come from a place of love, not fear. Good luck on your journey. Thanks for sharing.
Your progress is inspiring!
Monavlisa -
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your ideas. I'm actually going on a yoga/meditation retreat for the first time next month. I completely agree with your sentiments and am still struggling but striving to overcome "the fear". Peace to you!
Crystal